A few days ago I overheard an argument when I stopped into a restaurant on my way to work to grab some lunch. Two middle aged ladies were loudly broadcasting their private affairs into the unwilling ears of every customer in the building. I tried to ignore them for few minutes until the word "rapist" popped up. The larger of the two ladies was vapidly expressing to her friend how "some twenty year old rapist had taken advantage of her seventeen-year-old daughter." Apparently this man had gotten her drunk at a party and had a one night stand with the girl. The girl had tried calling him on several occasions but he wanted nothing to do with her. So she got pretty upset when facing rejection on the sexual front, and ran to tell Mommy what happened. Now this poor guy is going to "get what he deserves" because Mommy is going to the court house to file papers.
I felt truly sorry for this "rapist", but I couldn't help but laugh at this woman's outrageous ignorance. How many times have I seen this very situation play out with my own eyes? More than I would like to say unfortunately, but the way I remember them ALL, things were a little different. My own assumption of the situation boils down to this; The seventeen year old acted like a seventeen year old, hormones raging and ready to act stupid. She probably went to a party with an older friend and told everyone there that she was eighteen, got drunk and made a mistake. After the hangover she tried to contact the guy she slept with because she felt she had been taken advantage of, even though it was her own mistake for getting drunk and putting herself in that situation, but he would have none of it. So hurt, angry, and embarrassed, she runs to Mom and relates the story (leaving out her own poor choices of course) and just like that this poor guy is going to go through life labeled as a sex offender.
It is my opinion, as a girl who has made her fair share of stupid mistakes, that this is unacceptable. It also leads me to the topic of this article, which is; who are the real sexual predators? I mean, sure, rape and the like do happen, and when they do they should be severely punished. However, situations like this which are where most men get their bad name should not be treated on the same level. It's unfortunate that some girls have to learn a lesson like this, but it's even worse that the men involved have to suffer for the rest of their lives because of it.
Now I know many of you will say, "Well he should have checked her ID", but think about it this way; this guy is drinking in his home or a friends home, somewhere that he feels safe so why would he think to check her information? Besides that he is drunk, that thought never crossed his mind. This girl comes into his home, lies to him, sleeps with him, and then charges him with statutory rape or carnal knowledge. It seems to me that she was the predator.
This isn't the only situation that deserves examination either. With so many government programs out there that help single mothers as well as child support enforcement agencies that give mommy a halo and poke "daddy" in the behind with a pitchfork many women admittedly get pregnant to support themselves. I have heard it straight from the horses mouth from two women that the only reason they have children is because they can afford to live away from their families thanks to Social Services. I find the fact that they would bring a child into this world unable to support themselves much less it disgusting in its own right, but the unfortunate fathers are victims as well as the children. Many of these men don't even realize they have children until they get a summons one day telling them they have to show up to court. I also find it funny that many of these men were told that she "was on birth control", or even wore a condom. I would say that some of the sneaky things women do amaze me but they don't, not anymore.
These are just a few of my concerns with our judicial systems bias against men that are involved in these type of situations. I could go on about father's rights, jury prejudice, lack of probable cause, as well as how social norms and government programs contribute to this kind of behavior but I will spare you the remaining chapters and leave you with this one, the first one. I know there is a reason for most laws, but when laws are interpreted based on the letter of the law and not the spirit of the law many individuals suffer undue punishment. To me, it just doesn't seem fair, I want to see a change, so I will be the change I want to see. And I hope that anyone reading this that agrees will too.
